I have been doing a lot of soul searching. I go through a little bit of a midlife crisis about once a year (normally in February) and it always culminates at my birthday and snaps me out of this need to be who I am. I find myself waking up in the morning saying "Good Lord It's Morning" not "Good Morning Lord" which is my normal disposition. It's depressing.
This year my "Snap" came earlier than my birthday (only a day or two, but hey, I'll take it). I know who I am. I know what I like. I just need to block the outside world out of my brain and do what I like. Just be... Me!
I know this all seems so simple, but really, mainly I struggle when I shop for myself. I buy things that I think look a certain way, and I like them, but I don't LOVE them, and I find myself disappointed with them later on.
It took me a couple trips to St. Vincent De Paul (SVDP) to realize what I had been searching for. I don't want the newest fashion and I don't want the latest and greatest - after all, I'm not "competing" here. I want Vintage and unique. I'm not going to go all out and buy myself a vintage wardrobe, or anything crazy like that, but I may find myself at the local thrift stores more and more often.
The revelation came this weekend. I had been to SVDP earlier (a couple weeks ago) with Mariya, and I saw this scarf that I loved. I talked myself out of buying it, and I thought about that scarf all week. I know that sounds obsessive and weird, but I did. I told Eric Saturday morning that I wanted to go back to SVDP and see if it was still there. We did, and alas, it was not. I was and still am kind of bummed. I determined that it was not "meant to be" and that I needed to let it go.
I was ready to walk out of the store, but Eric was looking at the books. I picked up a couple for myself, and headed over to the furniture area and feasted my eyes upon this...
A vintage Singer Sewing machine in a desk. It caught my eye a couple weeks ago, but I couldn't fathom bringing another piece of furniture (not knowing if the machine even works) in my house. I loved it, but thought someone else would pick it up pretty quickly, so I walked away knowing that I didn't really have the room for it.
But on Saturday, I looked it over again, a lot - this machine... it speaks to me... It's so ... beautiful... so vintage... so me. If I were a sewing machine... I would be a Vintage Singer V110-120.
Okay... do it... laugh... I know... It sounds CRAZY!! But I just think this little machine has so much history and so much love. I walked out of the store (once again) without it. I haven't stopped thinking about it and what I could get rid of in my house to bring this in.
Tonight I got off the bus and told Eric. "I have to buy it... I love it".
Eric told me that it was crazy talk to think that if the sewing machine didn't sell this weekend, than it wasn't going to sell on a Monday night, and that he would go down to SVDP tomorrow and check to see if it was there, and buy it for me.
Please oh please... be there!
This year my "Snap" came earlier than my birthday (only a day or two, but hey, I'll take it). I know who I am. I know what I like. I just need to block the outside world out of my brain and do what I like. Just be... Me!
I know this all seems so simple, but really, mainly I struggle when I shop for myself. I buy things that I think look a certain way, and I like them, but I don't LOVE them, and I find myself disappointed with them later on.
It took me a couple trips to St. Vincent De Paul (SVDP) to realize what I had been searching for. I don't want the newest fashion and I don't want the latest and greatest - after all, I'm not "competing" here. I want Vintage and unique. I'm not going to go all out and buy myself a vintage wardrobe, or anything crazy like that, but I may find myself at the local thrift stores more and more often.
The revelation came this weekend. I had been to SVDP earlier (a couple weeks ago) with Mariya, and I saw this scarf that I loved. I talked myself out of buying it, and I thought about that scarf all week. I know that sounds obsessive and weird, but I did. I told Eric Saturday morning that I wanted to go back to SVDP and see if it was still there. We did, and alas, it was not. I was and still am kind of bummed. I determined that it was not "meant to be" and that I needed to let it go.
I was ready to walk out of the store, but Eric was looking at the books. I picked up a couple for myself, and headed over to the furniture area and feasted my eyes upon this...
A vintage Singer Sewing machine in a desk. It caught my eye a couple weeks ago, but I couldn't fathom bringing another piece of furniture (not knowing if the machine even works) in my house. I loved it, but thought someone else would pick it up pretty quickly, so I walked away knowing that I didn't really have the room for it.But on Saturday, I looked it over again, a lot - this machine... it speaks to me... It's so ... beautiful... so vintage... so me. If I were a sewing machine... I would be a Vintage Singer V110-120.
Okay... do it... laugh... I know... It sounds CRAZY!! But I just think this little machine has so much history and so much love. I walked out of the store (once again) without it. I haven't stopped thinking about it and what I could get rid of in my house to bring this in.
Tonight I got off the bus and told Eric. "I have to buy it... I love it".Eric told me that it was crazy talk to think that if the sewing machine didn't sell this weekend, than it wasn't going to sell on a Monday night, and that he would go down to SVDP tomorrow and check to see if it was there, and buy it for me.
Please oh please... be there!
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