Down but not out... Entirely

Ever since going to my first derby bout in March of 2011 I have wanted to play derby. I kept my passion for the sport under decent wraps for awhile in worry that I wouldn't or couldn't make it happen. Or that I would quit and get a whole bunch of flack for not going through with it.

My goal was to go to a PFM practice, and in August of 2011 I accomplished that goal, and even passed on my first time! I made new goals, and this dream called derby suddenly became a reality.

In September I was at BSL practice with Jet City and I injured my knee. I literally thought I would be off skates for a week, maybe a month, at most. I didn't think my injury was that bad, or maybe I just didn't want it to be that bad.

Three doctors appointments, an MRI, and some physical therapy later, it has been five months since I've strapped my skates on for a ride. The reality of all this kind of hit me Tuesday evening. There isn't much light at the end of my derby tunnel, and something great might happen with Physical Therapy, but right now, the diagnosis isn't amazing and my future with Derby is bleak at best. My goals have changed from doing 25 laps in 5 minutes and clearing a 4 inch jump to just wanting to climb the four flights of stairs to my apartment without pain.

When the Doc called with the results of my MRI I was cautiously optimistic. She said I had torn my ACL, but it's healed itself with a little scar tissue in tow, but there is some pretty good sized damage to my cartilage behind my knee cap. Even with physical therapy to regain some strength my ACL will be more susceptible to detachment, and though I could detach or blow my ACL just walking down the street the probability of a blow while playing a full contact sport on wheels with a damaged ACL isn't a if, it's a when.

A lot of people get hurt in derby, I just feel robbed that I didn't even get a chance, though it's fun to see my peers excel, ultimately I spend the first few seconds of their good news announcement jamming that green jealousy monster back inside so it does not rear it's ugly head.

I am heartbroken, but that too will heal. I plan to go back to the rink when I can, though I have to admit that dodging 7 year olds on in line skates is nearly as dangerous as playing derby.

But for now, I'm happy to be the girl who has a coordinated boutfit in the audience cheering on Grave Danger to their victory over the Throttle Rockets tomorrow! Go Danger!